Feeling Let Down: WIPpet Wednesday

It’s been a rough week. We lost a beloved friend to cancer, and it hurt. And in a cruel double-whammy we also saw the legal system fail spectacularly. As a lawyer I’ve seen it before, but rarely in such a cruel fashion. Going through a week like this makes you realise you need to cherish the ones you love, and that the truth will always be the truth no matter how many people choose to ignore it.

I chose today’s WIPpet because Aiden is about to be let down too. (For those of you who’ve been following the WIPpets , this is a much older Tobias). This passage is taken from The Legend of the Kings (Book III of the Heartstone Trilogy):

“It’s a nice theory.”  Tobias stood up, his head was really throbbing now and he was keen for the interview to be over. “But I’m not sure it changes anything. Even if Josiah sent a message, it was clearly lost with that Fells person.”

The triumphant grin faltered.

“But it changes everything. No one’s even found a trace of Josiah. But if he sent a messenger – he must’ve found something. Something to get rid of the dragons. And now we know where to look.”

As Tobias looked down into Aiden’s face, he suddenly saw where this was going, and his heart sank.

“The dragons need to be defeated once and for all, and the Boundary has to come down.”


“I need to find him Tobias. We can’t go on like this – trapped behind the Boundary.”

“No.” That one word, flat and absolute, seemed to pull Aiden up, and for a moment he stared at Tobias, his expression registering surprise then disbelief.

“But I’ve been called to Quest.”

“I don’t think…”

“How else would I have found the record? And the dreams…” He was pleading now, an edge of desperation in his voice.“I’ve had the same dream over and over. The Guardian Stones are lying on the ground and the dragons are gone.  It’s hard to describe, but in the dream I feel free – the whole Kingdom feels free. And when I wake up I’m drawn back to the Boundary, the Legend and what happened to Josiah. It must be the call, I feel compelled to follow it through.”

He was clearly sincere. Tobias could see the sheen of tears, the dark shadows beneath his eyes, the grief etched into his face. For a moment he looked so young and vulnerable, Tobias felt his heart ache. He moved around the desk and laid a fatherly hand on Aiden’s shoulder, and when he spoke his voice was calm and measured.

“I know you want there to be more. I know what happened to your father… your family has been difficult. But this isn’t going to bring them back. The fact is we need the protection of the Boundary. It’s not perfect, but it keeps the dragons at bay. You’re reading too much into this.”

“Please. Please Tobias. I really think the One God is calling me. Won’t you even think about it – pray about it?”

Aiden’s words touched a nerve. The Overseer was the only person who could validate a Holy Quest, and the responsibility was serious. If someone thought they had been called, an Overseer was bound to check the scrolls to see if it was consistent with the holy teaching, and then spend time in prayer to confirm his finding. But as soon as the thought crossed his mind Tobias pushed it away. This wasn’t the same thing at all. This was a young man whose grief was driving him to look for answers in an ancient legend. He didn’t need to seek the will of God, that much was pretty clear. But for Aiden’s sake he needed to put a stop to this now.

“Aiden there hasn’t been a true Quest in over 400 years.”

“But -”

“I’m sorry.  But I can’t confirm it.  It’s terrible what happened.  To Josiah, the man in the scroll, your family… to all of us stuck between the dragons and the Rohe.  But you need to let it go.”

But of course he won’t, because he has hold of the truth. I know how he feels.

WIPpet Wednesday is the brainchild of the talented K.L. Schwengel. The idea is that you share a portion of a work in progress that has some link to the date (and that link may be very tenuous… we are dealing with creative types). Then head over to this linky and join in the fun. The WIPpeteers are a friendly, fun and encouraging band of writers from a diverse genre base. *waves*

By the way if you want to check out my interview with Kathi and her band of flying monkeys click on this link (Dad this was for you)!

24 thoughts on “Feeling Let Down: WIPpet Wednesday

  1. Agh, Aiden, I feel you, my friend. I can totally imagine the strain in his voice as he keeps trying to press Tobias, as well as how bad Tobias feels about letting him down.

  2. Many, many hugs to you in this rough week.

    Poor Aiden, to be so sure of something and to need it so badly, and not have the support you need to see it done. This flows nicely and really relays the trouble each of the characters are having with their own internal battles.

  3. I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m also sorry about the situation where the legal system failed. It’s hard to hold onto the truth in that situation.

    Great excerpt. Poor Aiden. I hope he doesn’t give up.

  4. Great excerpt Raewyn. I could feel Aiden’s pain, but also see where Tobias was coming from. I get the impression though, from what you’ve written, that Aiden is in the right. It’s so frustrating, isn’t it, when people just simply don’t understand/refuse to understand where we’re coming from and especially when we’re right about something.

  5. It’s hard when the ones who’ve lived through so much disappointment cannot see past their own doubts to see the hope that a younger, often louder voice brings. Both Aiden and Tobia seem to be stuck by the regrets of the past…

    The scene is emotionally intense, but I don’t sense much of the two of them as people in a place, living experiencing this frustration. Maybe that’s why it still feels rough to you, Raewyn?

    Or maybe everything feels a bit rougher right now because of the nature of your friend’s passing? Condolences. I don’t know what else to say.

    1. Thanks Eden and I think you’ve nailed it about where Tobias and Aiden are right now. It is taken out of the middle of a much bigger scene – but when I edit I’ll make sure the context is properly defined. As this was a first draft I’m also seeing lots of explaining (the role of the overseer) which will hopefully be smoothed out later.

      Things do feel rough. But I was blessed to have had such a friend – part of the fabric of my life since I was quite young.

      1. Having such a friend, even if only a little while, is wonderful. I’m glad you had the joy… and the sorrow. It’s a life fully lived.

  6. I’m really sorry for the stress and losses you’ve experienced this week. As an aside, I think I remember reading way at the very beginning of WIPpeting that you were a lawyer, but I subsequently forgot about it and had my mind blown away once more. Crazy. Praying for your peace with your friend’s death and whatever legal junk is causing you so much stress and heaviness. 😦

    1. Thanks Alana. There’s nothing worse than knowing you can’t trust the judicial system to provide justice. (It isn’t always unjust). At times like these I’m thankful for my faith, and a God who will ultimately weigh on true scales (- and all the while offering mercy and redemption at his own very great expense).

  7. I’m so sorry about the loss of your friend and the legal system let down on top of that. Life can be cruel sometimes. *big hugs*

    Excellent descriptive writing here – the characterization especially shines. Intriguing work!

  8. Sorry to hear about your loss and your rough week, Raewyn. *hugs*

    This is a very effective scene, with the two characters at cross purposes, and both with good arguments on their side. I haven’t read much of this yet, but I’m really enjoying it.

  9. My condolences. I hope time starts to treat you kinder and ease your pain.

    As for your WIPpet, it is a very powerfully charged scene. That whole, I’m special and I have to do this! followed by the, no you don’t. Go clean the gutters. But he his special! He shouldn’t be rejected and sent to gutters so easily. Love scenes like this. You did awesomely.

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